Why Are So Many Young Adult Australians Lonely?

Professor Patrick Parkinson AM is the Executive Director of Publica, a policy and advocacy organisation dedicated to fostering friendship, strengthening families, and building close-knit communities across Australia. In this article, he explores the growing and complex challenge of loneliness and its profound impact on our communities. Loneliness is no longer a hidden issue. Professor Parkinson has worked closely with Anglicare to help us address loneliness well through the programs we offer, particularly in our services to children, youth and young adults.

The Silent Epidemic

In Australia's vibrant cities and tranquil towns, a silent epidemic is gripping a new demographic: young adults. Once, loneliness was mainly associated with the elderly. Today, it is affecting the nation's 18–30 year-olds at alarming rates. This is true not only in Australia but other countries of the western world. A major Australian study found that more than one in three young adults report problematic levels of loneliness, a phenomenon now seen as one of the defining challenges of this generation.

Why has loneliness emerged as such a big problem? There are many reasons.

Disrupted Connections: The End of Built-in Friendships

For many, the transition from adolescence to adulthood comes with a sudden drop-off in easy, daily social interactions. After years of having friendships built into school schedules and lunch breaks, young adults face the reality of coordinating meet-ups, a process that can feel more like planning an event than stopping by for a chat. Not everyone adapts well to this abrupt shift, and many find themselves starved for social connection.

The Changing Nature of Work and Study

The landscape of young adult life has shifted dramatically. The rise of the gig economy means more young people earn income through flexible, short-term jobs. While this offers freedom, it rarely provides the sense of camaraderie and belonging that more traditional workplaces foster. In fact, such instability is linked with heightened anxiety and fewer opportunities to form lasting workplace friendships.

Meanwhile, education has also changed. A surge in online learning, accelerated by the pandemic, means face-to-face campus life has diminished sharply. In 2022, even as the pandemic was receding, only one in five post-secondary students attended all classes in person. University ought to be a time of peak social activity and rich experience. Too many students now study for their degrees from their bedrooms.

The Digital Double-Edged Sword

Despite being more technologically connected than any previous generation, young adults face mounting social disconnection. Social media and the internet allow constant contact, but often this often provides only a shallow substitute for real human interaction. A staggering 50% of young people find it easier to connect online than in person; but heavy screen time tends to reduce opportunities for meaningful relationships and increases feelings of loneliness.

As digital engagement replaces face-to-face time, mundane everyday interactions with strangers, waiting in a queue, asking for directions also vanish. There is no need to talk to someone in a queue if you can bury yourself in a phone.

Paradoxically, social media both connects people to one another and isolates them. It can make young people anxious or depressed because of bullying and other negative social interactions online, or because friends; curated lives and appearance seem so much better than they can achieve. The pressure to present a perfect image on social media can create a discrepancy between a young person's carefully crafted online persona and their lived reality. There can also be a sense of missing out, as young people observe on social media what their friends are doing without them. 

Less Community and Delayed Relationships

Underlying this problem is a long-term decline in participation in community groups, clubs, and religious organisations. Modern culture's tilt toward individualism and the erosion of communal touchpoints leaves many young people without a sense of belonging.

At the same time, life milestones like marriage and homeownership are being delayed, and many will not find a life partner at all. On census night 2021, only 56.8% of 25-34 year olds were married or living with a partner. That is a massive decline from forty years ago when most people could expect to marry at some point in their lives. 

The Road Back to Connection

Addressing this loneliness epidemic demands a holistic approach: building skills for genuine connection in both digital and physical spheres, reducing stigma around loneliness, and reimagining community for a new era. Solutions will require individuals, communities, and policymakers to work together and restore the places and practices that help young Australians feel supported, engaged, and truly connected.

If you are lonely yourself, consider what you might be able to do about it. A few ideas may help.

First, get off your computer or smartphone more often. As with so much else in our lives, the important thing is to achieve some balance. Reducing your engagement with social media is very likely to improve your mental health.

Second, find a community. That involves more than just finding a group of people. Communities are typically formed around shared interests. A sporting team provides community. So does a church. In fact, most churches are very welcoming places. Just introduce yourself and say you are new here. People won't ignore you if they know you are new or have only started coming recently.

Third, learn how to cope with social anxiety. The gregarious and socially confident are willing and able to join groups, even groups of strangers. But many others may find that too difficult. There is some wisdom in what Winston Churchill wrote, towards the end of his life: "When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of an old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened!" Most of what we are anxious about never happens, and even if it does, it is usually not so terrible. Yes, you might say "the wrong thing" or spill your drink down your shirt; but honestly, is anyone likely to care? We all do that kind of thing! A good question to ask yourself when a social encounter doesn't go all that well, is will it matter in ten years' time. Almost invariably, the answer is no.

Loneliness is a problem we need to address together. Form welcoming communities. Find communities that will welcome you. We need to bring healing from this silent epidemic.